The other day a friend of mine died. At the time of finding out, i was extremely shocked but not as sad as one might've hoped to be. I put this down to the fact that the gravity of the news had yet to strike me. The next day i bumped into a friend who knew joe too, and although me joe and this lad dan had never been out together he assumed that i knew joe and began to tell me the ins and outs.
I was now mortified and felt the loss of joe even more, i spoke to a friend a little while later and started to cry a little. I visited the spot where he died and felt as if i was almost invading onto the area where there were flowers and cards which i did not read. He was my friend although not the closest but we had hung out at different times with a mutual friend who initially introduced us. but does that allow me to go to his place of death? even to pay my respects? thinking now i would say yes, if it were me that had died i would like to think any and all of my friends would come to pay their respects. But at the time i was worrying about if his closer friends would be happy with what i did? for me now though, i don't care what they think i knew Joe well enough and he was a good lad he will be sorely missed by his family all of his friends and those that knew him. i know this blog isn't about me specifically but its about how a human mind dealt with the news of the death of his friend. im writing these thoughts for what? an answer? what is the question? if there is one do i already know the answer? or am i just trying to find the right question?